Ask Yourself...

Hello my Loves!!

If memory serves me correctly, my last "love" post was about preparing for love.  The first step to preparation is to be mentally open to the idea of finding the "right" one for you.  You've got to believe in love as well as know and understand that love is available to any and everybody who's open to receive it.  Then comes the self assessment...

Ah yes, the self assessment.  Asking yourself the "real" questions that only you can answer.  What are your beliefs?  What makes you happy?  What makes you smile?  How do you desire to be treated in a relationship?  This is the part where you are essentially getting to know YOURSELF.  If you don't know what makes you happy, how can you possible expect ANYBODY else to know?  You must, absolutely must know yourself and what you want from and for yourself.  You must learn and know what you're willing to tolerate.  You must learn how to compromise, and you must be willing to give of yourself. 

Two selfish people in a relationship doesn't work, nor does one selfish person.  There must be a certain level of selflessness between you and the other person that goes into a relationship in order for it to be successful.  Please understand...you and your partner will have to give of yourselves in order to have and maintain a successful relationship. 

As I type this commentary, I feel the need to clarify "selfish", because sometimes a little selfishness is necessary.  For example, I believe that "me" time is important in a relationship.  Your mate spends time with his friends and you spend time with your friends and AWAY from each other.  Being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean being joined at the hip...it means sharing each other's world, loving each other, supporting one another, and always being there for that person.  Selfishness becomes a problem when you NEVER consider anybody but yourself in all aspects of the relationship.  That's just not cool. 

The aforementioned questions are just a few of the many questions that will lead to more questions that only you can answer for and about yourself, but they must be addressed in order for you to attain any level of success in a relationship.  Once you figure yourself out, the rest will be a breeze...

So my Loves, I would encourage you to write down what you like and what you don't like.  Continually ask yourself why...why you like or don't like something, why you need or don't need something/someone, etc.  This is the hardest part...I promise you, but you have got to know who you are, what you want, and what you need in order to get any of those things.  If you don't know, nobody else will either. 

Stay encouraged Lovies and know that love is truly out there for you...

Our Love is Stronger Than...

There is something to be said about the power of love.  When two people truly love each other, there's a bond that is unshakable and unbreakable.  No matter what (or who) tries to come between you and your love, there's a level of trust and strength that no one can break but the two of you. 

I learned a very valuable lesson recently about the power and strength of the love that my fiance and I share.  We've been tested, but we are committed to each other and love each other.  In the end, I have to focus on his actions and how incredible he is.  There's no doubt in my mind that he loves me and that he's IN love with me.  My honey is amazing and I love him so much. 

I just wanted to share a little more of my joy with the world...

Until next time, my loves!

Truly Amazing...

This song is the sum total of what I'm feeling all the time.  I'm absolutely amazed by the love that my fiance has for me and I'm so thankful for having him in my life.  I truly love him with all my heart and I believe that we are such a powerhouse couple!  His actions speak louder than his words, which constantly lets me know how much he loves me and how deeply he cares for me, and that too is truly amazing.

This kind of love I've only experienced in my dreams.  Someone who wants to learn me and understand me, and allows me to learn and understand him.  He loves the Lord and he loves his family.  He adores his mother, and he's so adorable and sweet.  His family is so inviting and kind to me, hospitable and welcoming.  The kind of people that you love to be around because they laugh and reminsce about their childhood and other fond memories. 

Summer 2012 is going to be an incredible summer for me...feeling all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it.  I can't help but smile when I think about him.  He's truly something unlike anything I've ever dealt with before...and I love it. 

Truly amazing...

Do You Believe in Love...?

Some of the most common statements that I hear are love just isn't out there,  all the good men are either gay or dead, or there are so many golddiggin' women out there that it's hard for a man to trust anybody. This one is my all time favorite, "Imma do me, the hell with love"!  There is something to be said about the power of thought.  The Bible gives countless scriptures concerning how powerful one's thoughts are and how they affect one's actions.  Proverbs 23:7 says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he" NKJV. One of my favorite quotes is from Dr. Wayne Dyer.  He says, "if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change". 

My first words of encouragement and advice: You GOTTA get your mind right!  You HAVE to believe in love and the promise that it gives (to coin a phrase from Jodeci). Your perceptions about love or lack thereof are what form your actions and reactions when meeting and interacting with people.  Now, I'm not expecting you to be SUPER positive about everything like I am...I'm just saying to be open to the possibility of meeting someone that could change your world for the better.  Love has no room for negativity, pessimism, meanness, hate, anger, frustration, and any other emotions that don't feel good. 

Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is amazing and wonderful.  Love is strong and resilient.  Love is nonjudgmental and heartwarming.  Love doesn't allow you to give up on a person just because he/she makes mistakes.  Love is treating others the way you would want to be treated, even when you don't feel like it.  Love is passionate and compassionate.  Love is timeless.  Love is beautiful and incredible.  Love is awesome!

So, once you answer the question, "do you believe in love?", then you'll be able be ready for the next step...the self assessment.  Asking yourself the hard questions and forcing yourself to come up with the answers.  These are questions that no one can answer but you, so be prepared to spend some time thinking and evaluating your thoughts and perceptions about love and what you truly want for yourself.  During this process you'll begin to see that there are something that no one else can GIVE you or DO for you. 

Stay tuned and stay encouraged!  Love is waiting for you.

Until next time, my loves!

Unable to Articulate...

As I sit here in my friend's condo on the 21st floor looking out the window at the most beautiful and amazing skyline in the world (to me), I can't help but think about how much I have to be thankful for.  This time of year is one of my most reflective times because I assess where I started from and how far I've progressed over the course of the year.  Did I achieve any of my goals?  What did I do right?  What would I have done differently?  I continually strive to be better than the year before, do things differently, make better choices, and be a blessing to everyone I meet.  2011 has been quite an amazing year for me, full of blessings and surprises...and true love. 

I still like I'm recovering from 2010 in a way because I had to deal with tragedy after tragedy for the first time in my life.  I lost people that were very close to me and I still think about them daily, but 2011 has been a year of new experiences both personally and professionally.  Things are falling into place both personally and professionally, and none of it is by my hands, but by the hands of God.  I believe that God has the best for me and that He will give me the desires of my heart.  I believe that the Lord hears my prayers and that He truly does have an amazingly wonderful expected end for me. 

As of today, this blog will be taking a new direction.  As of today, this blog will serve as inspiration and encouragement for those who are wanting love, waiting for love, and wanting to know what it'll take to meet and obtain their perfect mate.  Please notice that I said, "their" perfect mate, and not "the" perfect mate.  Being in a relationship is so much more than having someone to hang out with or have sex with.  There's a preparation process that must take place in order for you to be able to see things clearly, and make the right choices for you.  There's a level of obedience that must be exercised during this process, and the patience muscle will be getting a workout, building muscle and strength that will prepare you for the future.  Obtaining love is a process, and maintaining love is a process too.   I won't give you too much right now, but stay tuned for more information and encouragement.

I will give you these words in parting though.  Love is available to all who are open and willing to receive it, and it's out there for you.  Be encouraged and stay inspired, and always believe in love!

Until next time...