Walking in My Authority

Change isn't a bad thing, even though it doesn't always feel so good.  When you see every change as an opportunity to grow and learn from each experience, you begin to see that change is an awesome and wonderful thing.  The unknown is only as scary as we interpret it to be, but with faith all things are possible.  I know that sounds cliche, but it really is true.

I have had mustard seed faith, but it hasn't been until recently that I've discovered that I am truly destined to walk into my God given authority to take dominion over the desires of my heart.  To be quite honest, I've tried everything else and I'm worn down.  Worrying and stressing out doesn't seem to work, and the only thing that seems to keep me grounded is my faith in the Word of God.  I've also tried believing a little bit and trying to "help" God bless me .  That didn't seem to work either.

So alas, I've resolved to submitting to the Lord and trusting in Him with all my heart and not depending on my OWN understanding.  In all my ways acknowledge Him because HE will direct my paths or make my crooked ways straight.  I'm so thankful to have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior that it's overwhelming.  Thank you Lord for loving me enough to send your only begotten Son to pay for my sins.  I'll never know the cost for my sins upon a cross...

One Step Closer to My Destiny

My previous blog post was a post of the frustration that I often experience when the people in my life are so consumed by all the negativity in their lives that it eventually begins to become painfully obvious to me that they are NOT happy.  I can't STAND negativity and often become agitated by those who are seemingly always pessimistic.  "Why do I care?", was the question posed within the blog.  I found my answer the very next day.

I set out on my quest to find a church home, and my search ended at Raleigh International Church.  From the moment I walked through the doors I knew my life would not be the same again.  The teens were the greeters and they were so happy and friendly to be in the House of the Lord that it made me happy to be there too!  Warm smiles and bright eyes welcomed me as I made my way into the sanctuary to participate in the praise and worship.  As I was lead to my seat by the usher, the members of the church were smiling and greeting me as soon as I made eye contact with them.  At my seat, I immediately joined in the praise and worship because I felt so comfortable there.  I raised my hands and sang, "My life is not my own, to you I belong.  I give myself to You."  As I sang the words of this song I experience a RHEMA moment...that moment when God speaks loud and clear to you.  There's no denying His voice or His presence.  Pastor Thornton says, "Maximize the rhema moments.  Your faith becomes increased in these rhema moments."

Various members of the church began to pray and speak in tongues, and one man spoke in French.  I don't speak any French, for Spanish is my love, however I understood EVERY word he uttered under the power of the Holy Spirit.  It was amazing!  We all got on our knees and began to pray and weep before God as His Word was prophesied DURING worship.  As I wept and prayed, I could literally feel the Lord's arms around me as I cried on His shoulder...almost like I had my head against His chest and was telling Him all that concerned me.  There was such an indescribable comfort and peace unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life.  It was at that moment, as the praise team sang, "We will never know how much it cost to see our sins upon a cross..." that I realized and finally understood that my life is truly not my own.  My very existence is ONLY due to the fact that Jesus Christ died on the cross for me.  What an amazing epiphany!  

I then heard testimonies of how God moved in various members lives and each testimony brought me to tears.  The pastor then approaches the pulpit to inform me that my "barrenness is only for a season".  As he proceeded with the lesson, I could feel deep within the wellspring of my belly the desires of my heart coming into fruition.  I could see my ideas taking shape and became so excited that I could hardly stand it.  For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had truly come home.  

As a first time visitor, I was announced and welcomed with tons of hugs and hand shakes.  I jumped at the opportunity to begin the process to become a member of the church, and immediately began thinking about how I could be a blessing to the church as well.  I'm ready for the awesome things that are coming my way and delight in the fact that my season of barrenness is over.  I make a declaration today to do all I can do to let God have His way in my life.  Nothing can stop me...

Barrenness for a season doesn't mean forever.  You are fruitful.  Don't let the fears and failures of the past determine your future because sometimes postponements are a part of God's plan.  Always remember and be confident in this very thing; that He that has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6)  God is good and wants you to have the desires of your heart.  I'm learning that you just have to trust Him.

Have a fabulous day today and stay inspired.

I Need Relief

Why do I care about things the way I do?  I really don't understand why I'm so concerned about others and how they feel.  I always have to make sure that the world is okay, but the caveat to that is that it NEVER reciprocates back to me.  Everyone reserves the right to be rude, selfish, cranky, moody, ignorant, and inconsiderate whenever the damn well feel like it.  Why do I have to be concerned about the "whys" of the world?

I guess the truth is that I don't know why I'm so accomodating.  Sometimes I wonder if it even benefits me to be this damn nice, but then I always hear the Word in my head...treat others the way you want to be treated.  I guess I'm just hard wired to give a damn...

Am I the only one though?

I Got a Feeling

There are so many ideas that flow through my mind at any given town that it's almost scary.  I have visions of things, ideas for products and improvements to products or services, as well as my own money making projects that I'd like to try.  I feel like there is something so awesome, so incredible that I better begin preparing myself for increase or I might just become overwhelmed if I'm not careful.  The very thought of my success coming into fruition is both exciting and frightening at the same time, but somehow I use the fright as motivation to work even harder than I've ever worked before.

I don't I've ever felt like this before and it's so exciting.  For the first time in my life, I'm plugging away at my life and not worrying about not having enough money or resources to get the things I need to get things done.  I'm not afraid to open my mouth and ask for help and let people see my vulnerable side.  I've finally learned that vulnerability is NOT a bad thing or anything to be ashamed of, but it actually shows one's openness and receptivity to accept assistance from others. 

Writing my first book really scares me because I have so many thoughts and memories that I don't know where to begin, but I have begun.  I'm very proud of that, but I need to finish what I've started.  I feel like I need a writing mentor or something, but there again, I don't know where to begin.  It almost feels like I have the entire book written in my head, but I don't know where to go with my thoughts when I try to put pen to paper.  I've got a feeling that my book will be a success too, and I already see how to market and promote my book. 

All these things are VERY exciting to me and extremely overwhelming.  I feel like I've go so much to do that I almost don't know where to begin, but I am taking action to accomplish my goals.  God is so good and I love to think about all He's done for me and will continue to do for me.  He who has begun a good work in me shall continue it until the day of Christ.  

Stay inspired and keep on moving towards your dreams. 

There's Something to be Said For...

There's something to be said for friends and family.  I'm sitting in Philly right now watching Leverage on TNT and updating my blog while sitting in my grandmother's living room.  I've been in Philly since Tuesday at around 12:30am, and had the opportunity to hang out and staying with my best friend from high school.  We had sooooo much fun!  We laughed and laughed about our high school days.  Her kids are adorable and her dog is just the cutest thing!  She calls me the "dog whisperer" because I was able to keep him from whimpering and whining.  He listened to my verbal commands and thoroughly enjoyed being scratched.  Tonight I learned that he was in heat and was in love with my hand.  I thought it was hilarious that he started air humping as he stood on his hind legs with his front paws on my arm, which was resting on the arm of the couch...lol.  I'm so glad that I had the chance to really sit and fellowship with her.  I also got the chance to hang out with my family as well.  Man, I love my people...:-)

There's also something to be said for determination.  As I'm typing these words, I'm reflecting on my journey to AZ from NC and back again.  I'm thinking about going to school and graduating from college.  I'm thinking about how every time I say something, it comes to fruition.  There have been seemingly countless times when I wasn't sure how I was going to get things done, but because I was so determined to reach my goal that I couldn't see anything but my goal.  I sit here in awe of the goodness of God.  I can finally say that everything I do and accomplish is solely the work of the God in me.  Without Him, I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning.

There's something to be said for being a social butterfly.  I love meeting new people and have no problems with talking to anybody that will listen.  I think about how I've come to be the person I am now and all I can do is smile.  I don't remember ever being shy or embarassed to talk to strangers.  I'm a communicator and do my best to keep in touch with EVERYBODY.  Thank you Jesus for creating me like this.  I'm so thankful for your blessings and hand of favor.  Help me to be a blessing to all I encounter day to day.  He who has begun a good work in me shall continue it until the day of Christ...

I've go so much work to do, but I do my best to achieve my goals every day.

Dealing with Tragedy

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged about the things going on in my life, but I've been caught in a whirlwind since my return to NC in March.  For the first time in my life I've been dealing with tragedy and it feels so strange.  I love my family so much and I'm seemingly losing family members one after another. 

I lost my maternal grandmother 3 days after arriving in NC and 3 weeks later I lost my great aunt.  Last Sunday I lost my sister, Keeya, who passed away in her sleep.  I feel numb because family is very important to me and even though you know that they're going to pass away someday, I don't think you're ever REALLY prepared for dealing with death until it happens.

I'm beginning to get a headache from thinking about the family I've lost thus far.  It feels really good to be blogging again and I'll add much more tomorrow.  For now, just pray for my family as we deal with tragedies we have to face, and know that even during times when you don't think you can go on, God is still good and His mercy is everlasting.  Stay thankful and prayerful, and forgive and move on. 

And as always...stay inspired!