Feeling Overwhelmed

Happy New Year!!  


I'm fighting back tears as I write this because I have so much I want to say but I don't know where to begin.  I had a pretty decent 2010, but I know that the best is yet to come.  I've dealt with tragedy for the first time in my life and it really hurts.  I lost both of my grandmothers and one of my sisters within 6 months.  I miss my paternal grandmother more than words could ever express and cling to her memories like a security blanket.  I was devastated by the death of my sister, Keeya, because it was unexpected.  I hold on to the fact that no matter what, God is STILL good and I totally believe that He who has begun a good work in me will continue it until the day of Christ.  He has amazing things in store for me.


I guess I feel overwhelmed because I allowed myself to become stagnant and lazy over these past couple of weeks.  I'm inspired to do more and say more, but there's so much to do (and say) that it overloads my mind and I just shut down.  I try to keep myself inspired, but sometimes I need help.  I think that it would really help me if I could blog from my blackberry.  That way, I could type my thoughts immediately and not have to wait for my laptop to boot and go through its processes.  I don't always have my journal with me to write my thoughts down either.  


I'm going harder than ever for 2011, because I want more from myself and God is expecting more from me too.  What I've been doing is no longer the norm...no longer acceptable.  I've taken  the first step by blogging my thoughts and sharing my experiences with the world today. I have joy, frustrations, excitement, trauma, and drama (although most of it is not my own...lol) to share with the world.  I have a story to tell, lots of stories to tell and all of them speak of my journey and how I've evolved into the woman I am today.  


As I unload my mind, enjoy the ride.  You will laugh...you will cry...lol  I know it sounds cliche, but it's the truth.  I'll be as raw and uncensored and the Lord will allow me to be, all the while knowing that there's always a lesson infused within the story itself. 


I've also begun to get my house in order, metaphorically and physically.  I'm purging my closets and files and setting myself free from my past.  If I want to move forward I've got to stop dragging some of the crap from my past with me every year.  It's really time to step my game up and be bolder than I've every been before.  


Thank you Lord for revelation knowledge.  Thank you for allowing me to see another day and another year.  You are so worthy of  all the praise and glory, honor and adoration.  May the reader of this entry be blessed beyond all they could ever imagine.  Meet them where they are Lord, and help them draw closer to You.  Amen.