The Essence of Me

Recent events that have occured in my life have provoked me to take a step back and look at myself and what I stand for.  Who am I and what is it that I really believe in?  What makes me tick and why?  What are my core beliefs?  I recently got into a verbal altercation with someone who, in my opinion, had the nerve to question my christianity.  She considers herself a Christian as well, and her statement to me really shook me to my core...and it really bothered me.  I began to question myself.  Why did her statement bother me so much?

"And you call yourself a Christian".  I must admit that the statement really, REALLY pissed me off.  I had people tell me, "Girl, that's just the devil.   Don't pay her any mind"!  That may be true, but I still wanted to know why it bothered me so much.  I know that she may not have understood my decision, but I had to do what was best for me.  It was the right decision at the time.  She expressed how disappointed she was in how I handled things, and I must admit that I probably could have handled the situation differently.  In my mind, the outcome would still be the same.

I began to think about one of my favorite songs...Simply Redeemed by Isaac Caree.

I am a Christian,
Do you know what that means?
That means I'm far from perfect,
Simply redeemed.
Bought with a purpose...
Purchased by love.
It's not a form of religion, but a gift from above.
I am not perfect...no, but I have been redeemed.

I cry every time I hear this song because it speaks to the essence of me.  The fact of the matter is that I do love the Lord, and even though I make mistakes or choices that may not be conducive to everyone else's life or standards for me, my Heavenly Father still loves me and has an expected end for me.

I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated, and giving everyone a chance.  I trust you until you prove yourself to be untrustworthy, and still love you anyway.  I love to help people and it is my goal to be a blessing to every person I come in contact with.  In my heart I know that I was a blessing to this person just as much as she's been a blessing for me. 

I guess what bothered me the most is the fact that she really spoke to me like she was a BETTER person than me.  She expected me to be understanding and empathetic to her circumstances, but was unwilling to do the same for me.  At the end of the day, I've asked for forgiveness and have accepted the fact that me and this person might never be on speaking terms again.  I can't make anyone forgive me...that's between her and the Lord.