Anyone who knows me knows that I love LOVE. I believe in a wonderful relationship with that wonderful man that loves me unconditionally and adores me. I want my heart to skip a beat when I see him or hear his voice. I want to think about him and smile always. I want a man to love me more than I love him...and that's a lot of love.
It's so interesting to be in a relationship with a man that was wonderful during what I like to call the 90 probationary period. You know, everything is wonderful when he's trying to get to know you and he assures you that he's different from all the other guys. He treats you like a queen when you're with him and for some reason is able to make time for you, even though his life is hectic. And then it happens...
The phone calls occur a little less, but he seems to have time to hold full conversations via text message. He's not able to see you as much because he's "got so much going on". When I inquire about when I can see him, he responds in a frustratedly annoyed tone as if to insinuate that I'm nagging him. "It's not you, it's me" is what he tells me. "I promise I'll make all this up to you", he says.
My question is...how long do you expect me to wait?
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I STILL Have Faith in Love
I've been confused by recent events in my love life, but I'm grateful for the experiences. I've been dating a wonderful man, who evidently has a lot going on. We talk all the time, he sends me romantic text messages, he sends me songs indicating his affection for me...just romantic. And then it happened...
What happened? I have no idea!! Usually, I send him a good morning text every morning and he responds with words of affection and bliss. The same thing happens at night...I send him a good night text, and he sends me wishes of sweet dreams and beautiful rest. Everything was lovely on Tuesday morning. Wednesday he appeared to be very short with me via text. I say, "Good morning Superman"! He says, "good morning". No term of dearment, no sending you candy coated kisses, nothing. Please understand that we've been doing this every morning and night for the past 4.3 months. Thursday I say, "good morning Honey"! He says, "good morning". I ask if he's okay and he says that he's fine and asks me how I am. I tell him that I'm fabulous, that I miss him, and asked him if he was mad at me. His response, "yep". Huh? I ask why and he said that we'll talk about it later. That was on Thursday morning.
We usually talk every day during his lunch when he's working, but I didn't call him this time because he said that he was mad at me, and I know how I am when I'm mad. I need my space until I'm ready to talk, but I don't have a long cool down period. I tried to be understanding and not call him, plus I haven't done anything for him to be mad at me. I know in my heart that I haven't done anything...seriously.
I decided this morning to send him a text and give him a call indicating that I have no clue about what's going on and why he's mad at me, but if his lack of communication with me is his intended message, then I got it loud and clear. If not, then I would appreciate a call back. What's funny is that I really want things to work out with us, but I know that I deserve better than this. There's too much to do for me to be going through any unnecessary emotional drama. I deserve the best that life has to offer, and I deserve to be loved by someone who is able to articulate his thoughts, even though it may be tough. We can work through anything if we just continue to communicate with each other.
I still have faith in love and believe that my love is out there somewhere waiting for me. Part of me wants it to be with him though. I care about him a lot, but I care about myself just as much. I love being in a relationship, but I love being single too. I'm okay either way. I just want to be happy.
What happened? I have no idea!! Usually, I send him a good morning text every morning and he responds with words of affection and bliss. The same thing happens at night...I send him a good night text, and he sends me wishes of sweet dreams and beautiful rest. Everything was lovely on Tuesday morning. Wednesday he appeared to be very short with me via text. I say, "Good morning Superman"! He says, "good morning". No term of dearment, no sending you candy coated kisses, nothing. Please understand that we've been doing this every morning and night for the past 4.3 months. Thursday I say, "good morning Honey"! He says, "good morning". I ask if he's okay and he says that he's fine and asks me how I am. I tell him that I'm fabulous, that I miss him, and asked him if he was mad at me. His response, "yep". Huh? I ask why and he said that we'll talk about it later. That was on Thursday morning.
We usually talk every day during his lunch when he's working, but I didn't call him this time because he said that he was mad at me, and I know how I am when I'm mad. I need my space until I'm ready to talk, but I don't have a long cool down period. I tried to be understanding and not call him, plus I haven't done anything for him to be mad at me. I know in my heart that I haven't done anything...seriously.
I decided this morning to send him a text and give him a call indicating that I have no clue about what's going on and why he's mad at me, but if his lack of communication with me is his intended message, then I got it loud and clear. If not, then I would appreciate a call back. What's funny is that I really want things to work out with us, but I know that I deserve better than this. There's too much to do for me to be going through any unnecessary emotional drama. I deserve the best that life has to offer, and I deserve to be loved by someone who is able to articulate his thoughts, even though it may be tough. We can work through anything if we just continue to communicate with each other.
I still have faith in love and believe that my love is out there somewhere waiting for me. Part of me wants it to be with him though. I care about him a lot, but I care about myself just as much. I love being in a relationship, but I love being single too. I'm okay either way. I just want to be happy.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Men Come and Go, but Carmen is Forever...
Today I had an opportunity to talk to one of my closest friends in the whole entire world...Carmen. She was one of the first people I met in the Navy after bootcamp when I arrived at my duty station in Port Hueneme, CA. We were 19 years old when we met, and we've been friends since 1989.
Carmen and I have been through everything from pregnancies to marriages and everything in between...together. We've seen our share of ups and downs in each others' lives, and through it all we've always been there for each other. I think Carmen is a permanent part of me.
I've come to a conclusion...men may come and go, but Carmen is forever. No matter what goes on in my life, or what man comes in and out of my life. Carmen has always been there for me to comfort me, tell me how it really is, and let me know that she's always by my side. I love my friends, and she's truly my friend and my sister.
Carmen and I have been through everything from pregnancies to marriages and everything in between...together. We've seen our share of ups and downs in each others' lives, and through it all we've always been there for each other. I think Carmen is a permanent part of me.
I've come to a conclusion...men may come and go, but Carmen is forever. No matter what goes on in my life, or what man comes in and out of my life. Carmen has always been there for me to comfort me, tell me how it really is, and let me know that she's always by my side. I love my friends, and she's truly my friend and my sister.
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