I'm in a very pensive mood...

Oh, how I've missed you, Dear Blog!  I have a lot on my mind and that means that I have a lot to talk about.  I love the experiences of my life because they all help mold and shape me into a better person.  My mind is literally overwhelmed with thoughts and my fingers can't seem to type fast enough.  Where do I begin?  What topic do I want to pour out onto my blog today?  This may be why I really need to write on my blog EVERY day.  I have a good reason for not writing on it though, I promise.

One of the first thoughts that comes to mind is my status at the high school that I work for.  I don't seem to have the respect that I really feel I deserve as an educator because I don't have my certification...yet.  I'm currently studying for my state certification in Spanish, however, the treatment that I receive from some of my co-workers is pretty amazing.  It really kinda puts me in the mindset of the Jim Crow era, not just because I'm African American and my counterparts are Anglo, but the subtle nuances that I experience when dealing with certain individuals makes me thankful for being a powerhouse.  I already know that I'm a triple threat because I'm female, black, and biligual.  I'm fully aware that I'm highly desirable in almost every sector and have lots of flexibility. 

I really engage my students in conversation and love to hear what they have to say.  It's really interesting to hear their viewpoints on life and certain situations.  I sit with the students at lunch, bring them snacks, and try to make sure that they have what they need to get their work done.  Tonight during dinner break, my students expressed why they think I'm experiencing such "hate" from my co-worker.  I was told that it's because of jealousy.  I further inquired about their opinion and they indicated that I was one of the coolest teachers that the school has seen in a while and that all the students love me.  I wasn't quite sure how to take that. 

It's so good to be loved...

You BETTER Not Leave Right Now, Ms. Sample

"You better not leave right now, Ms. Sample.  I'm serious!"  My student, Monique, is one of several of my students who share that same sentiment.  The don't want me to make any sudden moves with regards to my career and my future at this school.  I must admit that hearing that makes me smile because I feel like I've really positively impacted these students. 

Monique is one of the sweetest and cutest students and holds a special place in my heart.  In the short time that I've gotten to know her, she's let me know how glad she is that I've come to this school and that I'm the only positive is something that's seemingly so negative.  She's really working hard to pursue her education and she's committed to achieving that goal.  She's very focused determined to get out of high school to provide a better quality of life for herself.  She loves her family and you gotta love that. 

Shaunda, Monique's friend, is also a sweetie, who is supposed to be having her first child any day now.  She's still pregnant and her baby is very stubborn.  She was due on October 3rd, however, she's in good spirits and is patiently awaiting the arrival of her bouncing baby boy.  I had the opportunity to talk to her via text message tonight and she's doing well.  I call her baby Tyrone...lol

My students are a constant reminder of why I do this job.  I adore all of them and my heart breaks for the students that don't take their education seriously.  I really do want the best for them and hope that in some small way, I've impacted their lives in the same way that they've impacted mine.

Out of the Loop

Tonight has been quite an informative night, not only for my students, but for me as well.  I teach the Computer Based Education class during evening high school in Tempe, AZ.  Basically, the students come to school for attendance purposes to do computer based courses on their own.  The teacher is here to supervise and assist the students in whatever courses that they need assistance in.  The computer gives them a grade at the end of reviews, quizzes, and even gives midterm and final exams. 

Because the courses are given during the evening, there must be two teachers on staff.  Our attendance tends to be so large during the evening school that the classes are split between myself and the other teacher.  Somehow, Mr. Shelley, the other night school teacher has been informed of the changes to the grading policy that will be taking place school wide.  He comes into my classroom to inform the students of the changes.  My first thought was, "Damn, maybe I'm not really considered a teacher at this school.  What do I have to do to be informed about the goings on with my students and in the school?"  There may be some other underlying issues that I need to address with my presence at this institution.

I'm in a very contemplative mood right now and feel like I'm at a place of making decisions about how I'll continue to govern myself while I continue to work here and pursue my education to better advance my career.  This is my first school and therefore a stepping stone for me to build up the experience I need to construct a powerful teaching resume.  The bottom line is that I'm just not in the mood for bullshit and I don't appreciate the lack of respect for my passion and craft.  The students love me...or so I'm told, however, the administration doesn't seem to appreciate me outside of being the "reliable one".

I really just need to focus on my goals and stick to my grind...and woosah, woosah! 

Some of my students are BOLD!!

I'm not sure if I want to call this bold or crazy, but I've had the most interesting conversation with some of my students this evening about their piercings.  One of my students recently got his tongue pierced...and he did it HIMSELF!  He then informed me that he also pierced his own lip too.  Another one of my students then informs me that she did her own piercings too.  She said that she pierced her nose.  As I stood at their table looking at them in utter amazement, ANOTHER student tells me that she pierced her lip AND her navel.  Not only did she pierce herself, one of her friends wanted their navel pierced and she did that one too!

Now, as I'm listening to them explain to me the process by which they conducted such mutilations, my inquisitive mind inquired about why.  My most flamboyant student, who happens to be homosexual, informed me that he would rather do his own piercings and spend the money he would have used towards something else.  I was almost afraid to inquire about what he would actually spend that money on.  He didn't hesitate to tell me that he likes to take risks.  The adventurous side of me can really appreciate a risky endevour, however, there's something to be said about doing something that could be potentially dangerous to the body and cause all kinds of infection.

His tongue is now swollen from the tongue piercing, which is normal.  I just hope that his body doesn't react in any adverse ways to his tongue.  All I can say is wow...

WOW!

Reconnections are priceless...

I've had the opportunity to reconnect with wonderful people from my past and I'm so glad the we've been able to engage in conversation.  Anybody who knows me knows that I love my friends deeply and do everything I can to show them all the time.  I do everything from sending daily texts to making weekly calls to them.  I really want to get to the point where I'll just send them cards in the mail with the most recent pictures of the family and other little things that will physically show them that I think of them often.  I'm so thankful for what God has blessed me with and that he's allowed me to love the way I do.

I just got off the phone with my mother, who had informed me that she took a 110 question assessment during a bible study class to see what her gifts and traits were.  She told me that she scored the lowest on mercy.  What blows my mind about this is the fact that my mother is studying theology and wants to be a church counselor or something.  She has the compassion of a gnat and even less mercy.  She has little to no patience with most people and anything that she would consider "foolishness".  She's so comical to me because she's seemingly the complete opposite of what a pastor teaches on Sunday morning to his/her congregation.

I'm not really sure where I get my patience and love for people from because it's certainly not from my mother.  She's never been really affectionate towards me or anybody else for that matter.  Working with others requires quite a bit of patience and self control, especially when it comes to one's attitude.  My mother doesn't exactly think outside the box when it comes to the consideration of others.  She doesn't really care about what a person has been through before they encounter her and her reaction is usually a mirror of the person she's dealing with at the time.

Lord, please help the church folk that will be dealing with my mother.  Not many people have the patience or the wherewithall to handle her abrasive nature and therefore many people don't really understand her.  Help my mother to see things through optimistic lenses instead of the pessimistic ones she sports regularly.  Help her to be gracious with her tongue and courteous as well.  Smooth out her abrasive nature in exchange for lovingkindness and a smile.

I love you, Mom.  You are too funny...

The Turning of a Page, The Beginning of a New Chapter

Today is a big day for me in the Sample household.  Today is the day that we move from the dump we live in currently into an apartment that's cute yet affordable.  It's just enough big enough for my son, my dog, and me.  This is definitely the beginning of a new improved chapter in my life, where I'm on a quest for spiritual and financial freedom.  I'm in desperate need of a break and I'm taking steps to receive my breakthrough.

The details are really too personal for me to divulge at this time.  Maybe because I'm still working on the bridge needed to be built to get over some of the circumstances, however, part of it may just be because I'm just not ready to share this particular aspect of my life with world.  It will, however, be fully disclosed in my book..;-)

I'm so ready for the best of things to happen in my life because I think that the timing couldn't more perfect than it is right now.  I'm at a different place in my life than I was a year ago and my outlook and perspective have changed for the better...I think.  I'm more calm and more patient.  I've learned how to stretch a dollar further than I've ever had to stretch it before and I've learned what I can and cannot live without. 

I've also learned just how deeply I love.  I love my friends and my family deeper than words could ever describe.  I love the little things in my life...like the way my puppy gets so excited to see me no matter what, or how my friends from Walgreens send me random text messages or Facebook posts to let me know that I'm on their minds.  I guess the biggest lesson I've learned is that no matter how bad life seems to be, the little things make it a little better.

Life, and God are both so good!

This Room is Full of Negativity, Ms. Sample!

I teach night high school with another teacher that evidently wears his emotions on his sleeve.  One of my students left his classroom to finish his work in MY classroom because there's too much negativity in the other class.  This has sparked some interesting thoughts and conversations over the last few minutes and has provoked me to look at myself...once again.

Even when I'm upset I try not to take my negative emotions out on anybody else.  I love my students and I feel the love daily from them also.  I try to let them know that I would do just about anything in the world to help them be better people, but I must admit that they do have a tendency to grate one's nerves.  Even in an angered state, I do my very best to keep a cool head and a diplomatic tongue. 

My class is lively and fun, however, sometimes it can be a little out of control.  With a little guidance and an abrasive tone, the students tend to recognize when they've approached a limit by which they may experience more restrictive consequences IF they don't calm themselves. 

My goal is to be the absolute best teacher that this high school has ever seen and I love the fact that my students love to be in my class.  I am, however, working on gaining a little bit more control in the classroom and setting boundaries for the students in an effort to promote respect and self discipline.  The classroom is a blueprint of the real world as well.  In life, students will deal with all types of people and personalities.  At some point, they must develop the skills to be able to effectively problem solve, get along with others in adverse circumstances, and most of all, learn how to be the bigger and better person.

I think what I appreciate the most is that at least one of my students feels that they can come into my class room and feel positivity.  I'm on the right path and my hope is that I continue to improve.